What side of the brain do you use?
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It's a question many Japanese are asking themselves these days, due to the growing popularity of "sayu (left-right) brain analysis."
This, in a nutshell, purports to identify personality types. If you can figure out whether you favor the left or right side of your brain when dealing with problems, then you can determine your personality type, according to the theory.
The biggest promoters of the trend are a female duo called "Nimaigai." They have published a manual and made a Web site ( www.nimaigai.com ) that delve into the theory.
"Generally, the right side controls intuition, imagination and creativity, and the left side math, logic and analysis," points out one of the members of Nimaigai -- though, as with all the quotes in the article by Shukan Jitsuwa, it's never clear which of the pair is speaking.
Though seemingly complex, determining your brain orientation is remarkably simple. The first test determines what side of your brain processes received information; the second identifies what side your brain's output comes from.
For the first test, clasp your hands and look at how your thumbs are crossed. If your left thumb lies under your right thumb, then the answer is the left side of your brain. If it's the right thumb under the left thumb, then it's the right side.
Now cross your arms. If your left arm is under the right one, then the left side of the brain deals with output. If vice-versa, it's the right side.
This creates four categories of people: left-left, left-right, right-right and right-left. The categories double when gender is taken into account.
However, Shukan Jitsuwa, a pulpy magazine catering to middle-age men, takes a bizarre angle on right-left brain analysis: It applies the method to help readers chose a suitable bar hostess to cavort with! After all, armed with the above knowledge, all a guy needs to do is watch his companion's basic body movements to figure out if she's the right type for him.
For instance, if you're interested in a woman who's passionate and adventurous, then look no further than a right-right type, according to the Nimaigai duo.
"These are the ones who most easily fall in love. They love it when situations heat up. Once the flame is lit, things can only get hotter."
And when it comes to sex, right-rights can be downright aggressive.
Right-left women, by contrast, tend to be "slow starters," mentally sizing up a situation before deciding to act.
"While getting into the mood of things, they analyze what's going on and they act accordingly."
Still, that doesn't mean such women are prudes. "It may be a struggle to win them over, but once that's done you'll find they possess a high degree of sexuality."
Left-right females are highly sociable and communicative.
"They quickly open up after a first meeting, which makes them popular people by nature. They make good housewives and mothers, as they take care of people around them."
The most sexually pragmatic women are left-left types. "They have a clear understanding of what makes them feel good. So if you sleep with a left-left woman, it's probably best to ask them directly about their erogenous zones and so on."
To help readers further, the magazine carries a "sexual compatibility" chart, indicating how well men and women of the various left-right permutations are matched. A right-right guy, for instance, being the creative and impulsive type, is a perfect match for a left-right woman, as she is mentally equipped to understand and appreciate such a guy. The same guy, by contrast, would have a zero chance of sexual fulfillment with a left-left women, this type being cold and rational.
Such hocus-pocus has a familiar ring in Japan, where every few years new and strange ways of determining people's personalities, including their sexual proclivities, emerge. The most famous example is blood types, which supposedly predicts any person's mental -- and even physical -- characteristics.
So as long as people crave clear and easy answers to some of life's most complex problems, methods to determine personalty types won't go away.